Love & Affection

I find it interesting that the feelings that normally would get me to fall madly in love with a guy are the same feelings that connect me to him on a friendship level when he's to far away for me to be able to have a physical connection with.

In other words; I meet a guy online, fall for his good looks and charming conversations he holds up with me and fall in love. This is pretty much the process. Then, when it's obvious and clear that he really IS to far away for me to have a cup of coffee with him, my feelings change to a deep affection and we become good friends, able to share pretty much anything. I bet the same thing happens for them, how else would they be keeping those relationships with me?

So, all this makes me wonder now; the feelings that initially get me to fall in love with a man are an illusion. I should wait them out, wait for that deep affection and take it from there. But with a local guy. Shit, my "relationship" with the guy I'm dating is all wrong. I have to end it so I can start a new one and from the proper beginning. The right way.

Ooh, reminds me. The mail boy. The hunky mail boy with the really nice ass and devious smile. I'm seriously considering handing him a note with my MSN next time he delivers mail to me. It's just getting hotter and hotter between us and I think I wanna take him home and take advantage of him, I bet he'd be a really good f***.
Only problem is, I don't know what I'd do with him after that. I can't take him home to mom and dad, I mean, he delivers the mail. They would never approve. And we work together, so it might get a little embarrassing. And I actually don't think he even speaks English! But that's besides the point. Steaming hot sex needs no words.
Hmmm, what to do, what to do? Oh, well. I guess I'm just gonna have to keep dreaming about him.
BUT HE'S SO DARN CUUUUUTE!!